11dpo

Thanks guys for helping to keep it real for me. All of your comments have helped me immensely. With your mix of calm, common sense and hopeful comments I can just sit back, not think anything and wait for time to pass LOL.

After three years in this crazy game with all it has entailed I am not going to allow myself to really get my hopes up. Yes there is a little bit of hope but I am not banking all my hopes and dreams on it.

I know so many people who would have tested by now, but the thing that is holding me back is that last time I was pregnant I only got a faint positive result 13dpo. So I don't want to test at say 12dpo and get a negative or some faint shadow and still be in no-mans land.

But you know the main thing that stops me from testing? Until I test; before I see that negative - I might, just might be pregnant and that is the sweetest feeling in the world.

I want this more than anything in the world at the moment. I am scared stiff of spoiling it all with a negative test.

I feel okay today - the cold is not so bad but I have decided to work from home today just to get better quicker.

I also have a pain in my stomach today. I am not sure if it is cramping or not. I think it might be. I have pulled so many muscles sneezing that I am just not sure at the moment.

So I think that my period might be on it's way - maybe in 2-3 days. But let's continue hoping that it decides to stay away for a very very long time.