Coming out of the dark

Firstly I want to thank you all so much for your never-ending support and to let you all know that I am fine. Last night I fed the zoo here early and set the video to tape big brother uncut and then had a very relaxing spa. I was so relaxed after that I was falling asleep so I went to bed and slept right through until Hubbs came home from work and woke me up.

Oh and my sister called last night. She just doesn't get it. She loves me unconditionally but has never had children or tried to have a child and I really don't think she understands what a miscarriage does to you. She said all the normal "i'm sorry" stuff and then said "have you stopped crying about it yet?" and I said "well, no, I mean I don't cry all the time, but when I think about it I cry and there are going to be times for the rest of my life that I am going to think of it and cry" - her response - "Oh it might just be the pregnancy hormones still in your body". Ummmm Yeahh, that is the only reason!

Today we saw the OB for the last time and he answered all my questions. He believes we have had a complete miscarriage so there will be no need for a D&C (thank goodness). Although the bleeding has stopped he said if it starts up again and is painful, to give him a call and he will schedule a D&C.

I asked him how I will differentiate between more miscarriage bleeding and my period. He said if it happens in the next week it will be miscarriage bleed, after that it will my period. He said it wouldn't matter if I got it wrong and started the clomid - just treat it as a period and get busy!

He said we don't need to wait. He said my body is perfect (glad someone thinks so) and it is ready to conceive again already. So we won't wait.

Then we went shopping and that was when I realised I was still crazy. I thought I had a chiropractor appointment today, so I called them from the car after the OB, and they said "No it is tomorrow. Would you like to change it to today?" I said "sure why not". So we made it 11:40am. Then Hubbs and I went shopping and forgot all about it.

At midday I get a call from them, asking if I was coming. Ummmmm Yeahhhh, I have just been delayed!.

After the chiro I dropped in at my favorite Op shop. I bought some lovely things. I bought the most amazing angora jacket with sparkly buttons, fully lined. (picture to follow). I also bought some ......... yes you guessed it, more yarn. (pictures and info to follow).

I called my boss too. He said not to come in tomorrow (I was considering it) and if I really wanted to come in this week, how about coming in for a few hours on Thursday and see how I go. So I am going in Thursday morning for a while. I may stay all day. But we will see. If feels good not to be pressured. He also said that there will be lots of questions as everyone has been asking him if I am okay. He has said nothing other than I would be away for a while. So we will see how I go on Thursday.

okay enough babbling. I need to go work out what I am having for dinner (so far I have banana split on the menu, but not sure what else to have with it (hubbs said I had to have veggies and meat or some crap!)).