A new cycle, a new beginning

My period arrived this morning.

Whilst I am excited about getting the opportunity to start again, the first period after a miscarriage is always bittersweet. You know the baby is gone, you know you are not pregnant, but until you get your period again, there is still a little part of you that thinks "maybe, just maybe, it has been hiding all this time, and maybe it doesn't need all those hormones to be okay". So when your period arrives, you know for sure that you were just dreaming and you grieve a little more for what might have been.

I should be very happy. Often it can be months before your period returns after a miscarriage. I started bleeding when I lost Tukka on the 21st June which is only 32 days ago (if my calcs are correct). That's great. It means my body is well and truly back to normal, and perhaps that means it is also ready to accept another baby (we won't go into keeping it as that is another story and perhaps the area my body has stuffed up in).

But as I said it is bittersweet. Tukka has gone, and I have to accept that and move on. I just wish it was as easy as that.

The other annoying thing about my period arriving today is that I had planned on seducing hubbs tonight and now that plan is shot to pieces. I bought a pack of cowboy shots and everything! hehe.
Hubbs and I haven't made love since the day Tukka was conceived (about 2 months ago I think). I was hoping today I would convince him. Alas that will not be the case. Oh well.

I will be back later with new knitting stuff to show you (ooohhhh aaaahhhhh you say). Have a lovely weekend all.