Behind those Hazel Eyes

If you are like me you listen to the radio, hear songs, but after a while, you start paying attention to the words, and sometimes, depending on what is happening in your life, the words take on some meaning. That's what happened when I listened to the words of this song this morning.

I know this song wasn't intended for this use, but when I read the words, I relate (well most of the words), to how I feel about losing Tukka and the struggle to get pregnant and thinking this was the one that was going to make it. Again last night I woke to find I had been crying in my sleep. Hubbs saw and asked if he could get me anything. How do I tell him that all I want is my babies back? Those words just break his heart. Please take a moment to read the lyrics and see if you see in them what I do.

Kelly Clarkson - Behind these hazel eyes.

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything felt so right
Unbreakable like nothing could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together but so broken up inside
Cause I can't breathe
No I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swollow me then spit me out
For hating you I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No I don't cry on the outside
ANYMORE!

Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes