Thursday, February 14, 2008

An update.

It's well after midnight and I am still awake so this is likely to be mostly in point form.

I just wanted to answer some questions in the last few posts comments and give you an update on other stuff that has been going on.

* Rachel from Melbourne asked "I just thought of a question, if you don't mind- what inspired the name 'Bugsy'? Are you a big Bugs Bunny fan?=) Just wondering... Also- how's the new pram holding up?"

Well Rachel - thanks for asking! Bugsy comes from a range of weird things I can do with my nose. I can do the Bewitched wiggle, flare each nostril independently, do a little bunny wiggle where the nose goes up and down and stuff like that - usually it makes kids stare and adults say "how do you do that?" in wonderment. It is something I have always been able to do and I tend to do it when I am nervous. Imagine seeing me at a job interview, waiting to be called, sitting wiggling my nose. lol. Actually I tend to do the bunny wiggle with my nose a lot - several times a day in fact - some people chew their fingernails, I bunny wiggle my nose. I am not much into Bugs Bunny strangely enough, but I have nothing against him - he is a very cool rabbit (if not a bit arrogant). I can also wiggle my ears too.

Also the pram is a breath of fresh air. I love it! I washed the covers and I have a couple of watermarks where it dried a bit funny and somehow I put a small hole in the cover, but it is so lovely to have a working pram. It is sooo heavy to lift but then every pram is a little awkward to lift. Alex loves it as he can face us, and despite being heavy it is very simple to fold. It is definitely my favorite pram. The large basket underneath allows me to get heaps of groceries when I want to the shops too which I love.

* Sassy asked if we had a plan for trying for Number 2 since I am keen and have nearly convinced Hubbs to go for it. Our plan is to try naturally for a while (no timeframe on "a while") and see how we go. Since we have "unexplained infertility" stamped on us, I don't want to rush down the track of ivf again just yet if we have a chance on our own. Our doc says that sometimes just having a baby can shift everything into place and there is every chance we can do this on our own. Having Alex has finally given me the luxury of "trying and seeing what happens" which is something that infertility robs you of. The franticness (is that a word?) of trying desperately has gone for us (for the moment). So that's the plan!

other updates:

* my new shoes are just lovely! I am sooo glad I finally got them!

* Before I got pregnant with Alex I bought myself a pair of jeans - a big thing for me because I have never been able to wear Jeans - they never fit my stomach (where I carry most of my extra weight) and by the time I take them up a foot or so (as I am not even 5 ft tall), they end up flares and I hate them. So I bought a pair of jeans and it took me months to get the hems taken up. By the time I did, they were too tight and I just couldn't wear them. So they hung on the hanger just waiting.

Then I got pregnant and there was no chance they would fit then. Yesterday I thought "wonder if I fit into those jeans yet?" so I tried them on. Wouldn't you know it - they are now too big. So big that I can wear them but they fall down and I have to pull them back up constantly, and I can put them on and take them off without having to undo the zipper or the button! I am destined never to wear these jeans! Hubbs said I should just be happy that I have lost weight (as this seems to indicate, although I can't prove it because my bathroom scales battery has gone flat).

* I have had lots of fun and games with Mum in law again. She was doing okay and living at home with her husband for two whole days before the shite hit the proverbial fan again. I spoke to her Sunday and she said everything was good and then when I called her Monday - her husband said "she is in hospital". What? As I am searching for the hospital's phone number to find out what is going on, the hospital calls me. She has had another anxiety attack and just couldn't cope. The social worker and I spoke for hours about the whole situation and in summary - she told the social worker that she didn't want to be married to her husband any longer - she wanted him gone, or she wasn't going back home. She wasn't coping at all. So after a psych analysis, many talks with the social worker and various doctors, they determined that she needed help but they couldn't keep her in hospital any longer. I went to the hospital and picked her up and took her home. She walked in the door and said to her husband "hello love, I am home" and they were all friendly again. I didn't know what to think.

It is too late at night to be telling you the very long story, but to cut it short, after several phone calls over 2 days, a number of things have happened.

I am now listed as their carers. I have organised emergency cleaning at the house, and after an aged care evaluation today we have also organised meals on wheels, weekly council cleaning, someone to do their shopping, someone to come in and help step-father in law to shower, a nurse to put the cream on his legs that he needs (and pressure bandages for the fluid in his legs), a social worker to visit regularly to ensure they are okay, and emergency respite care if required.

The aged care analysis today was hard. I had previously sat them both down and discussed that they needed to accept help if it was offered and told the step-father in law that it may be deemed that he is incapable of staying in the house if his needs cannot be met there and he may have to go to an aged care facility to live either short term or for permanent care. He resisted it totally - saying he didn't need or want the help (despite the fact he stays in his clothes from one shower to the next as it is too hard to dress and undress and that he has left the stove burners on twice this week already, and his clothes today had 7 burn marks where he fell asleep with his cigarette still burning!). I was pretty hard on him but the lady doing the analysis was even tougher and told him very bluntly that he either accepts help in the home or he goes into a nursing home today because if he doesn't his wife will either leave him or end up in a home herself. At the end of the day, he accepted all the care offered and even signed papers saying he would go into respite care if it was needed (not permanent care though - he has refused to sign anything for that). Let's just say I am not the favorite daughter in law at the moment as far as he is concerned. (tough!)

Then after that he wanted to go do the grocery shopping - on his little scooter as he can't walk 5 steps without a rest. Mum in law was getting stressed because she needed a lot of groceries and he couldn't fit them all on his scooter basket. Alex was asleep, so I left him with mum in law, and while the step-father in law rode his scooter to the local supermarket, I drove and met him there, walked round the shop with him doing the shopping, then loaded up the car and drove home while he rode his scooter back. It was an interesting experience and if it is anything to go by I can tell the social worker now that he is totally incapable of doing the shopping. We had hardly gone into the supermarket (we had picked up 1 item on the list) before he was asking if I could do the rest on my own because he wanted to go have a coffee at gloria jeans! He was neither interested nor really capable.

Alex was still asleep when I got back luckily as I am not sure Mum in law would cope with him crying on her - I thought he would be asleep which is why I chanced it.

So after all that, I am quite over Mum in law and her problems. Tomorrow I plan to stay home, do nothing and relax. Friday is Bugsy day (of course, how much rest am I going to get with a 6 month old requiring constant attention? hehe).

And now before I head for bed - some baby goodness:

Alex pushing up and trying to blow bubbles at the same time (proof men can do two things at once if they really try):

Laughing and nearly toppling over in the process:

Sitting up on his own playing with his toys (he can now sit up without toppling for about 10 minutes!):

okay lovies - hope you are all having a lovely valentines day - I am off to bed. Goodnight.

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At 10:11 am, Blogger Sassy said...

I hope this means things with your inlaws can settle down a bit now. You're doing such a good job with them. You so deserve a holiday after all of this.

At 6:04 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So glad to hear that the council and nurses are able to help you out with the in-laws.
Wow, what a lucky little one Alex is to get such lovely gifts.
Hang in there with the In-laws and I hope today was a wonderful relaxing Friday for you.
Hugs, Lesley

At 9:26 pm, Anonymous Rachel from Melbourne said...

Thanks for responding to my questions Bugsy! You made me LOL!!=) Looking forward to (hopefully!!) hearing about baby #2 someday soon!
Alex is a beautiful baby, he just seems to shine with happiness!
Take care!

At 12:16 pm, Blogger Shellandjosh said...

Bugsy, Poor darlings, its pride more than anything hun.. I hope that they get the help they need and support that they truely deserve.



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