Friends and "Friends"

Oh my sweet sweet friends. (those I truly can call friends <-- see no " " around the word this time!)

I have sat here this morning and bawled at how beautiful each and every one of you are. Thank you! Especially my de-lurkers - lovely to have you on board.

You guys are so right. I guess all these years I have hung onto the "friendship" as I don't really have many friends in real life, and I love those girls. They are the innocents and I pray that they make it to adulthood unscathed. Though this seems unlikely with the way their mother behaves. Don't get her wrong though - under it all she loves those girls - I just don't think she knows how to express love very well. Her parents were quite standoffish, not like my Mum who loved a cuddle. Very different I guess.

I have done nothing but think about this since yesterday morning and when my mobile rang last night with (private number) displayed, I simply ignored it. No message was left. The fact that I did this tells me that I don't want to put the effort in to save this. It is done. I won't be making any effort to contact her - perhaps this is the cowards way out. If she contacts me I will deal with it then. But if I see her phone number come up, I will not be answering the phone. I just don't need it.

On other things - My chart is looking okay - Bugsy's chart but I am not holding out any great hopes for this cycle. We will just have to see what happens. I don't think I will be running out to buy HPTs this time though. I do think I will go get a blood test tomorrow to see how my progesterone levels are going. I think that is my main problem, so I would be interested to see where they are at even in a non pregnant cycle.

ok well have a great day guys and catch you all soon.