Thursday, February 23, 2006

Season 3 episode 18

Thank you for tuning in. We all knew that because I was down, that more crap had to happen - it was fated!

This morning we got up at 5am as usual, and drove Hubbs to work. On the way, the car started doing some unusual things. It would slip gears. It would automatically change from say first to second and then go into neutral and the revs would go way way up, and if you backed off the accelerator, and then tried again, it would change from second to third etc.

I dropped Hubbs off and went home. It did it to me twice on the way home, and again when I started up the driveway. It took me 4 goes to get up the driveway.

So I rang the mechanic in a panic - our one car potentially dying - OMG.

I dropped the car in on the way to work and they nicely drove me the rest of the way to work.

I called later - It is all bad news. The computer has gone in the car, it needs new tyres, brakes, transmission, has an oil leak and the coolant system is suss. In normal circumstances he said we should run it to the nearest car yard and trade it in.

Trouble it, it isn't normal circumstances. With my car gone, it is the only car we have. We need it! We can't afford to hardly replace my car let alone get a second one. So we have a loaner, a crapbox of a car (I shouldn't judge - at least it goes). And probably half the money I got for my car is going to go to fixing up Hubb's car.

We so didn't need this right now.

To add a twist to our daylight saga, at work today I was eating lunch with a colleague and I got a vision - a vision that she was pregnant.

I looked at her and I knew I was right. So I said "R - Can I ask? Are you pregnant?" and she stared at me and said "OMG how could you tell? I have totally hidden it from everyone. I am 10 weeks".

I just knew. I made all the right sounds, told her how excited I was, but you know, inside I was crumbling. I couldn't eat any more and after she left, I went to the loos and had a good cry. I just couldn't believe it - yet another pregnancy around me - you just wouldn't read about it.

So with all the stress, I just want to escape even more. Work is very very stressful. I told someone today that if I could afford it, I would quit this very second. It's the truth. I want out of the madhouse.

The only good thing is with all the crap going on in my life, I have had no problems at all doing the Puregon injections. I don't even think about it anymore. I just do it.


At 3:45 am, Anonymous anna said...

i know how you feel, i think. 3 of my best friends are pregnant: one who just confessed she could care less about being a mom, another who just complains incessantly and says she never wanted to be a mom, and another who's pregnant with her second even though her husband doesn't even have a job and no insurance. my landlord and his wife are expecting in may which is sad because all they do is scream at eachother (very hateful and disrespectful things) and my crazy mother-in-law is adopting another baby from china (she's been in jail for god's sake). to make matters worse my sister-in-law just called squealing because, you guessed it, she's pregnant again. it's hard not to feel like god is against me right now. can you tell i took another disapointing test? sorry, for unloading, there just doesn't seem to be anyone to turn to.


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