Little Missy

Firstly a huge welcome to my new friends. It is lovely to have you on board and I look forward to interacting with you more in the future. I have tried to link all your blogs but if I missed you and you want to be linked, drop me a line with your blog address and I will link you asap.

I am doing well today but I cannot believe just how emotional I am. I cry at the drop of a hat.

Something I forgot to tell you about yesterday was that whilst I was doing my ladylike lie down after the IUI yesterday, one of the nurses came in and had a chat to me. When she went to leave she said "think positively and lots of fairy dust. This one is going to be it" and instantly tears streamed down my face. Luckily she had already left, so didn't catch me and I managed to compose myself before anyone else came in. I just felt this overwhelming sadness that in my heart I know that the chances are slim of this EVER working for me.

Luckily today Mari set me straight and forced me to look at the positive side to all this. I DO have a chance. Thank you Mari.

I haven't told you about another thing happening at work either. One of the girls there has had some tragic things happen. To set the scene, she is a wonderful, beautiful lady who is very sensitive. Her and I often easily make each other cry with our chats especially about my parents or her father, who passed away a couple of years ago. She misses him terribly.

She lives with her mother, who has parkinsons and as well as trying to hold down a full time job she has another full time job caring for her mother. An emotionally as well as physically draining task.

The one ray of sunshine in her life is her dog, Missy. Missy is an incredibly loving red heeler and the two are very close. Unfortunately Missy attacked a neighbour. The details are sketchy but from the sounds of it Missy got out and as my friend called her, the neighbour said "I've got her" and grabbed her. She surprised Missy and Missy reacted by biting her on the face. The neighbour had to have skin grafts and plastic surgery. A terrible situation.

The neighbour sued and unfortunately it was ordered that Missy be put to sleep. On Friday my friend had the horrible task of taking Missy to be put to sleep.

Since then she keeps talking to me about Missy and I end up in tears. 5 times today she spoke to me about her and 5 times I had to disappear for a while to compose myself. She showed me photos of Missy as a pup, Missy posing for the camera, Missy smiling. She showed me the box she has picked for Missy's ashes. She told me how it was the absolute hardest thing she has ever done; how at the end she was with her because she couldn't let her friend die alone, despite how hard it was. She said Missy was very brave and wishes she could have been too.

I can't take hearing about it, but I can't tell her to stop. She is grieving the loss of her very best friend, and I am so so sorry that she had to go through this. I just hope she gets some closure on this situation soon. For all our sakes. I wish with all my heart that Missy was okay. I'm sorry Missy. Your mummy misses you. Sleep well little one.

ok make that six times I have cried about this today.