The infernal wait
A bit better today. Everyone at work is constantly telling me that I look and sound terrible, and I think they are a little sick of me blowing my nose, but the good news is that it is slowing down, so I am starting to feel a little better.
Hubbs sounded much better on the phone, so he had gone to work and will see how he goes. Poor petal. I love him so much. I hate seeing him sick. I would much rather it be me than him.
So I am 9dpo today. I knew I should never have mentioned that my temp went up, cause today it dropped. Not too much, but still enough to dash my hopes. Then today I got the horrible hormonal lumps I get on the back of my head that I get when AF is near and I think I am getting a few cramps. I woke during the night, crying out in pain - my head hurts so much.
I haven't got my blood test results back yet - doctors said to call back tomorrow. I want those results!
So - to get my head clear I am going to write some reasons for and against getting my hopes up.
Reasons against getting my hopes up
1. I am never that lucky.
2. I have the hormone lumps I get when AF is close.
3. My temp is average and actually dropped a little today
4. I think I am getting cramps
5. We didn't bd that much.
6. I have the feeling I am never going to hold a healthy baby in my arms.
7. Even if I get pregnant will I be able to sustain the pregancy?
Reasons for getting my hopes up
1. I ovulated on CD15 which is like Normal!
2. We babydanced on the day we ovulated as well as a couple of times close to the day (before the day).
3. My boobies have blue veins popping up (that good isn't it?)
4. AF isn't here (that has to be good).
5. We got pregnant once before on this dose of clomid.
6. My temp may have dropped a little today but generally they are still "up there".
7. OMG I don't have a point 7.
So I think the reasons against outweigh the reasons for getting my hopes up.
I guess I should just kick back and wait for AF to start. I have been known to have 10 day luteal phases before, so it wouldn't surprise me if it came tomorrow or the day after.
Somehow I don't think it will be long. Not long at all.
P.S. My bosses wife has really started showing. Is it okay that I hate her, just a little bit?
Knitting news: nothing new just one more blank square and 3 more napkin rings. Still progress is progress.
posted by Bugsy @ 7:02:00 pm
4 comments
4 Comments:
Hormone lumps? Hmm. never heard of that before.
Hope that this cycle works out for you - and you'll soon not have to worry about clomid & such.
Bugsy thanks so much for your caring comments at my place. I've been under a rock for few days but I'm out now and I've caught up on your latest news. I'm glad you are not sick any more. I think that you can add us blogging sisters to hope number 7 because we all have hope for you. Sending good vibes ((()))
I'm glad you are feeling better ... and that your sweet 'petal' is too!
The neat thing about hope is that you can ALWAYS hope! Until you are told you cannot ever have a child ... the possibility exists that you can! Its just a matter of when!
So WHAT if the negatives outweigh the positive. Concentrate on a POSITIVE outcome ... until you know that you'll have to wait till next month. Then concentrate on the positives for that one too!
HUGS
In response to the "cons" list:
1. Ya gotta get lucky sometime.
2. Your hormones still go up if you're pg, so you'll get most of the normal AF symptoms.
3. You've been really sick so you're temperatures are not going to be accurate while your body is fighting off a bug.
4. I felt cramping from about 9dpo too.
5. You only need to do it once. Spudly is proof of that.
6. No matter how real they seem, "feelings" about the future are not concrete predictions.
7. I dont know.
In response to the "pros" list:
1. Yes, yes it is normal. Well done!
2. Sex before ovulation is definately required if you want to get preggers, so this is a good thing. We did it the day before.
3. Blue veins are not usually more prominent as a result of pg until well after you know. I noticed mine at about 8 weeks. But it depends on your boob size and blood pressure.
4. If AF should be here this early then its good that she's not here yet.
5. The main thing is that you ovulated. More or less Clomid doesnt increase your chances of getting pg, it just makes sure you ovulate, which you did. So yay!
6. See the cons list. Temperatures not a reliable gauge of anything when you're sick.
7. There doesnt have to be a point 7.
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