Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Beware the rant

Caution: this is a huge rant.

Firstly: Thank you for all your delurking. It is so nice to know that someone listens to me, and that you even like me, when sometimes I don't think I really like myself. :-)

I am so tired and I think this is why this rant has become necessary.

It's a lot of things. Hubbs is at the centre of it at the moment but that is incidental I think.

I think I will just list them - they speak for themselves.

1) I am still sick - 2 days left on the second lot of antibiotics and I am still coughing a deep wet cough including coughing up blood still (is that three days now?) - probably one in every five times I cough I do this. I cough so much sometimes that I go dizzy and think I might pass out. I go back to the doctors tomorrow night.

2) I have pulled so many muscles in my back and sides coughing that I think I have pulled the pulled muscles too. I ache and the heatpack just isn't doing it anymore. I go back to the chiropractor tomorrow too (in my lunchbreak) - 3rd time in 3 weeks.

3) Maddison is doing really well, and it was 4 weeks yesterday since she finished her injections. She goes back to the vet on Friday for a checkup.

But - I feel like I am doing this thing with her on my own. Hubbs is terrible with her. I was ropable last night. He was home with her yesterday, and he NEVER TOOK HER OUTSIDE ONCE. I was in a rush going to work, so I didn't take her out before I went to work, and when he picked me up at 5:30pm he still hadn't taken her out. That means she was in her cage from 10:30pm Monday night to 6pm Tuesday night - THAT IS NOT FAIR ON HER AT ALL. Net result is one poor doggie who raced outside to pee and was so angry at us that she waited until after the third time I had taken her out to sneak off and poo in our bedroom.

Since I have been back at work, she has retaliated daily with pooing somewhere in the house. I can't yell at her. It isn't her fault. But I can't do it all. I can take her out, sit outside with her for an hour, finally come back in, and if I turn my back for a second, she is off and pooing, quick as a flash!

Of course, you all know who has to clean it up too!

4) I still don't have my period. cd37 today and no sign of it.

5) I am fat. Very very fat. I have continued my good food regime this week but the honeymoon is over - I put on 2kgs in a week. So depressing.

6) We went to the supermarket tonight after work - cause you know, despite hubbs being home all day, he "forgot". We come home and while I am trying to cook dinner and put all the groceries away, Hubbs disappears to play a game on the computer. ARRGGHGHHHHH

7) He spent the day trying to print pictures onto tshirt iron on paper (For whatever reason, who the heck knows). Anyway, when the printer played up on him and wouldn't print properly, HE PUSHED IT OFF THE TABLE. It looks to have survived which is more than I can say for the other objects in this house that bear his mark - like three doors that have holes in them (ohhhh I will fix them soon - sure), the broken glass door in the ensuite and the remote control for the tv that no longer works since Hubbs threw it across the room.

But - NO - he says he doesn't have an anger problem - I just shouldn't annoy him (nor should the printer apparently). My poor house. This is not the home I want. I want him to be house proud, but I can't do the repairs on my own.

8) I have a list from here to infinity of what needs to be done including getting his house ready to rent (he has been doing that for the last 4 f'n years), getting our finances sorted out, renovating the ensuite before the tiles finally fall off the shower walls, garden work, etc etc.

9) did I mention my car is still in pieces? Hubbs called my nephew last night who didn't take his call, and has still not returned the call. Great - F'n Great.

10) It's 9:30pm, bin night, so I still have to get that ready, I am ultra tired from the early morning starts, and I still have to make Hubb's lunch for tomorrow (if I didn't do it, he would not eat anything because he is far too lazy to make a sandwich). But of course, no cheese slices for him. He wants ham cut fresh, and cheese cut from a large block. Yeah make it easy why don't you!

11) I got my subscription renewal to "practical parenting" magazine today. Hubbs bought the subscription for me a year ago, because he said "before the year is out you are going to need it".

I still don't need it.

I think I will burn the renewal form.

Then stamp on the ashes.


At 10:13 pm, Blogger Dr J. said...

Delurking now....a little late.

Sounds like a really tough time esp with the man. Is he at all willing to work on his non-anger issue? It sounds like a difficult environment to live and function in. I hope it gets better

At 4:55 am, Blogger PortLairge said...

I'm sorry. Can you talk to your hubs at all about that? I don't think your anger with him is "incidental". I know you are feeling unwell but even if you were in tip top health, without his help, you don't feel supported.

At 12:59 pm, Blogger Mari said...

Bugsy - This is the first post that you have come very close to swearing. I can feel your anger and it is healthy to be angry as you are frustrated with his poor attitude.
I feel so sorry for your dog being left in that small cage for so long, I too would've pooed everywhere.
It is just not a good time right now and it must feel like everything is going wrong.
Can you imagine doing OI in the middle of this? Shudder to think.
You are in my thoughts and have a cyber shoulder to lean on!

At 6:09 pm, Anonymous seepi said...

Being sick is awful and makes everything worse - and then stress makes it harder to get better.
I would lean on hubby and ask for a bit mroe help while you are sick - with the bins etc
but at leaswt your gorgeous dog is getting better, even if she is driving you mad - and she will snap out of that once she is out of the cage I'm sure.

At 9:55 am, Blogger Melsa said...

oh bugsy!

why does it have to be this hard?
allt he bad things happen to the good ppl & that really gives me the urks!

im sure it will get better for you!

lots of love!

cya soon



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