Friday, June 16, 2006

A bad bad scan

I had my scan today. Not good news.

There was a gestational sac but it looks empty. The doctor thinks we are miscarrying again.

He wants me to do another scan in 2 weeks at which point he said if we don't see anything in the sac then, he will book me in for a D&C. He said he would then do full genetic testing on the whatever they find in there.

I don't think I can be positive about this one. I have been through this so many times - I am giving this baby a chance but I really do feel like the end is coming.

Can I run and hide now? Can I escape? I don't want to play anymore. I just want a break - stop throwing all this shit at me.

I give up

16 Comments:

At 2:05 pm, Blogger Mari said...

I know that you want to give up. I'm so sorry that you have to go through another 2WW of hell.

My thoughts are with you and I'm so sorry that you are going through this yet again!

 
At 2:20 pm, Blogger Vee said...

Bugsy, I am so sorry you are going through this.
I know nothing I can say will make you feel better.
Take care of yourself.

 
At 4:04 pm, Anonymous eleni said...

sorry to hear your news but it may still work out, try to stay positive and i think you know i understand how hard that can be

hugs

 
At 5:46 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Bugsy
Im so sorry to hear whats happening to you.

I dont know if you remember me (blog - my life so far) but i lost my baby at 22 weeks well i just lost another at 15 weeks on May 30th and all i can say to you is DONT,DONT give up. I know its not fair that we have to do all this treatment and we dont get what we want while we watch other people do it to easy, but all i know is one day we will get what we want and we know we will be the best parents cos we really want these babies, Take Care Sharon

 
At 8:03 pm, Blogger The Momma / MrsHUGS said...

Hi Bugsy...

I am still staying positive...
I know life isnt fair but please dont give up...

Thinking of you heaps...

MrsHUGS

 
At 9:25 pm, Blogger Katt said...

I am going to stay positive with Mrs Hugs...

Biggest hugs to you my sweetie..We love you lots down here in Tassie.

Katt

 
At 9:51 pm, Anonymous seepi said...

oh no.
another awful two week wait.
there is still a chance.
and if this is not a full pregnancy, it will help them to work out how to get you there.
so sorry this is happening.
seepi.

 
At 10:59 pm, Anonymous Sassy said...

That fucking sucks. I'm so sorry you didn't have the happy day you deserved. Please don't feel alone during this two week wait, and don't give up yet. There are a lot of people thinking of you and praying that you do get the result you deserve. I really hope this is just a scare and everything turns out alright.

 
At 11:46 pm, Anonymous Sara said...

I am so, so sorry Bugsy. I am praying for you. It is so, so hard, God knows I have been there, too.

 
At 11:59 pm, Blogger Cathy said...

I'm with Katt.

We in Tassie have everything crossed for you.

Love and ((hugs))

Cathy

 
At 1:11 am, Blogger Em said...

It's not over till it's over Bugsy. I am praying for you and I am thinking of you heaps.

 
At 1:35 am, Blogger Dee said...

Thinking of you and wishing there was something more I could do or say that would help.

Please don't be too hard on yourself.

 
At 5:26 am, Blogger Summer said...

I'm so sorry, Bugsy.

 
At 7:30 am, Blogger Tara said...

I'm so sorry, Bugsy. Please stay positive. I know it's easier said then done. Please know that you have so much support from so many people. We are all pulling for you.

 
At 8:22 am, Anonymous seepi said...

Bugsy are you still having your levels done? Because they seemed too high to be a blighted ovum (is that what they are saying?). When I had one the levels never got above 75 or so in weeks - just went up by 5-10.
Thinking of you.
seepi.

 
At 8:41 am, Anonymous Jan said...

Delurking to say how very sorry I am that you're going through this. I've had 3 miscarriages myself, so I have an inkling of where you are right now. Hang on in there.

 

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