Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Facing demons

I am sitting here waiting for Hubbs. He is in the shower. We are supposed to be going to my brothers place for a BBQ lunch for my nephew, who having just finished his final VCE exam is about to head off to Europe for the next three months.

But I don't want to go. I am scared to go.

Last time I saw my family I was 3 months pregnant.

Now all I am is barren, and fat.

I am so scared they will be hesitant to talk to me because I am such a loser.

I am even more scared of being so scared of going that I end up never leaving the house.

I wish I could change ME.

Hubbs said if I really don't want to go he will go on his own and tell them I am unwell, but I don't want to cop out like that.

So we will go, if only for a short time.

Time to face some demons.

3 Comments:

At 6:41 pm, Blogger Cathy said...

I think we all have demons to face and like you we are very hesitant at doing it.

Thanks for your lovely comment on my blog.

We will miss Patches greatly and keep looking around for her at odd times like when preparing meals as her faves were mushroom stalks and carrots.

Cathy

 
At 10:41 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

YOU ARE NOT A LOSER !!

I hope it went well today.

 
At 6:44 am, Blogger Nica said...

If it helps, know that we are with you. We are rooting for you, we are pulling for you, we are praying for you. We are on your side.

And if it doesn't help, we are still here.

(But hope it helps to know)

 

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