Thursday, July 22, 2004

hello, can anyone see me here?

"Hello - Is anyone out there?"

(silence)

"Ohhh I am in this pit and I can't get out - anyone?"

"hello.."

"Oh someone is there - please help, I am in this pit of despair, and I can't find a way out."

"What on earth are you doing in that pit?"

"Well.... I kinda put myself here"

"You what? Are you an idiot of some sort?"

"Probably... We are trying to conceive a child, and it isn't as easy as we anticipated. Today I was supposed to go have a laparoscopy, a hysteroscopy and a hydratubation to see what is going on, but we delayed the surgery"

"But isn't this what you want? Some action towards a child?"

"Yes it is, but yesterday I was 12 days past ovulation and since I normally get my period 10 or 11 days past ovulation, I kinda thought there was a chance I might have been pregnant, but I did this blood test and it came back negative. But I was still unsure so we but the surgery off for a couple of weeks"

"Well that was sensible so why are you in that pit?"

"Well because my period arrived this morning... "

"oh, now I understand. You are in that pit of despair that we all get in when another cycle is over, when another chance is gone. How long you being doing this now?"

"2 years 1 month. It doesn't get any easier, every month hurts."

"I wish I could help, but Unfortunately the only person who can get you out of that pit is you. Your friends can help, but only to help you do it yourself."

"Yeah I know - thanks - I might just sit here a little longer. Maybe tomorrow things will seem better and I might find that ability to heave myself out of this hole. In the meantime, I might just sit back with a bottle of wine and some chocolate and try to forget that I want a child as much as I do. - Seeya"

2 Comments:

At 2:54 pm, Blogger Burnt Karma said...

((((((((hugs))))))))))

I have been in that pit, and although it seems very black and horrible right now, you will amaze yourself and you will crawl out of it.

You may end up back in the pit in another month, but somehow we find the strength to keep crawling back up into the sunlight.

I'm sorry you're not pregnant, and I'm sorry it stuffed up your procedure dates. You've been doing this for 2 years, 1 month and it's not working. Time to move on to some more aggressive treatment. The thought of doing IVF is very scary, but the thought of not doing it is even worse, if you know what I mean.

 
At 8:44 pm, Blogger Net said...

Hi Bugs,
I know how the hole feels, i hate the hole, the hole sucks. Please remember the hole is only a temporary thing, I will be waiting at the top with a special cyber {{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}} for you. Enjoy the wine and chocies and i hope the light is already peaking into the horrid place you are in.

 

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