Friday, January 28, 2005

The age old question with no answer.

This week at work has been yet another "challenge". You know how some days (weeks) you are confronted with pregnant people everywhere, babies being born, people announcing their good news and somehow you feel like you are standing still whilst the world moves fast-paced around you. Well this is definately one of those weeks.

This week two collegues had their babies. Both are boys and both were born on the same day too. One of these is the first child, for a couple where she is morbidly obese, with severe health problems and I saw her 3 days before bub was born and quite seriously, you would never have known she was pregnant. Despite all this, they got pregnant their first month of trying and she had a perfect pregnancy and labour. Bubs is gorgeous.

The other is the second child for a couple whom have had both their bubs whilst Hubs and I have been trying for our first.

Another bloke at work here is just waiting for his second child to be born - again, both of his children have been conceived and born whilst Hubs and I have been trying for our first.

Now don't get me wrong - I am really happy for them all. But you know, it kinda hurts to be standing still whilst everyone is moving around you, getting on with their lives, conceiving, growing bubs, birthing bubs and watching them grow.

So now the question - When is it my turn? Is that too much to ask? What about me? Can I be next? Three years is such a long time. I just want to get on that fast track!

4 Comments:

At 3:37 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It really is one of the most difficult facets of infertility...the art of being happy for others. Something I have graciously done my entire life..but is such a challenge now, 3 years down the track. The fake smile cracked a long time ago. Infact, today it is my nephew's birthday & I remembered back 2 years ago today, a newly married friend announced she was pregnant & with the wind knocked out of me I smiled & congratulated her. Thinking all the while "But we have ben trying for a whole year, We should be next" 2 years later.....I am still waiting.
It's hard to to gracious when your heart is broken.
I understand so well.

 
At 7:32 pm, Blogger Burnt Karma said...

(((((((hugs))))))))

 
At 6:58 am, Blogger DeadBug said...

Weeks like that are just...just...tortuous. Pasting on that false happy face and trying not to clench your teeth. Ugh.

Hope it's your turn soon, Bugsy.

--Bugs (Dead)

 
At 6:28 pm, Blogger Lesley said...

I do understand your feelings, I go through the same thing too. I wished I had a baby atleast 3 years ago.
4 and half years is a long time to wait. Yesterday a friend said, Ayden needs a little brother or sister to ride around with in that two seat car/bike.
What do you say! Smile and say were working on it.. I am now getting the feeling other people see me as not wanting another, why I am so up myself to only have one. "Why don't you have another?" is almost a weekly occurance for me now. I understand you just want one of your own. I am so lucky to have one already and I feel blessed with that but now I have had one, I want to experience all the experiences again, I yearn it so much. I grieve the fact that I have not been able to give Ayden a brother or sister yet, he get's lonely and I was lucky to have brothers or sisters. So many reasons why I understand you, I want you to get your wish, youdeserve it so much.
Good Luck.
Lesley

 

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