Saturday, January 29, 2005

Sneaky nights all alone

Last night Hubby was on nightshift (6pm to 6am) so I was all alone.

It's my chance to be a little sneaky! My sneaky deed was to go sit in the room that will one day be our baby room, and go through some of the clothes we have stored away for our little one.

I lovingly unfold them, hold them close to me, smell their unique baby scent (even though they have never held a baby), hold them up in the air under the arms and imagine they have a baby in them. Then I marvel that they seem so big, and surely my baby will be smaller than that.

Sometimes I lay them in my arms and wonder what it would be like holding my baby.

Then I fold them neatly, hold them to my cheek once more, and put them away.

Sadly I back out of the room and close the door.

One day....


At 5:14 pm, Blogger Sara said...

I do similar things in that "room" that we have waiting. I like to open up the windows and let the sunlight in and stand there and just close my eyes and imagine what it would be like with the sweet sounds of a child inside of it.

:-) Thanks for posting to my blog earlier!

At 5:40 pm, Blogger Lesley said...

Hey, I thought I might return the favour and I came to have a look at your Blog too. Oh, I do know that feeling though I have been lucky enough to be blessed with Ayden, I do know the longing and the desire... I hope you get your dream soon. Life just seems too hard at times and VERY unfair.
Good Luck and I will visit again.

At 7:33 am, Blogger Mari said...

Bugsy - I do the samething too and I thought that it was just me. I've been collecting clothes, blankets and towels for a while now and each time I buy something new I wash it straight away and dry/iron (if need be) then I open my big chest and put it away there.
I've sat in the room with the chest open and just sit there stroking my hands on the clothes, in the room that is silently and patiently waiting.

At 1:47 pm, Blogger Burnt Karma said...

You are not alone.
I remember bursting into tears one day when I was hanging the washing out. I wailed to Hubbs, "I'm never going to be hanging baby clothes out. It will always just be the two of us".

Wishin' and Hopin' for you.

At 4:39 pm, Blogger DeadBug said...

Oh, sister, you are making me cry.



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