Monday, August 29, 2005

clomid and co.

Dear Clomid, How I dislike you. Let me count the ways:

* The incredible migraines\headaches I have had non-stop, the type nothing alleviates. You are there when I go to sleep and there when I wake up.

* The constant nausea. (bonus : this does help with not eating much)

* The tiredness. I have trouble even keeping awake.

* The emotions welling up. I am constantly crying about everything. Yesterday I cried as I reached for the Weight Watchers frozen dinner in the freezer section of the supermarket, and Hubbs asked what was wrong - I couldn't tell him because I didn't know myself.

* The bestest of all, - the hot flushes. Oh how I love these. I have been in a hot sweat for the last two days. My face is flushed, and a beautiful shade of red, and my eyes are burning. I even got asked tonight whether I had been drinking! (Yeah - WATER).

But I will get through it. The side effects will go. (hopefully along with the metformin side effect of diarreah, which comes every couple of days).

Today I did my first aid certificate recertification. It was tough, especially after feeling the way I was. I thought I was going to be sick when I did the CPR on the dummy, and bending down to do the breathing bit left me in a dizzy state, but you will be pleased to know I passed with flying colors. 100% on the practical work, and 23/25 on the written exam. So I was happy with that.

Tonight won't be such a nice night here. The weather has been fantastic during the last few days, but tonight it is horrible. We have "severe weather warnings". The wind has picked up and it is blowing a severe gale outside. I hate the high winds. I am terrified of being here on my own on a night like this. I worry about the parrots being outside (outdoor aviary), and I worry about the house and what I will do if the power goes out and everything. I can live without any power, but our fishies can't - more than 4 hours without power and they will die. So if the power goes out I have to do something about it. (or we lost 50 odd tanks of fish).

Hubbs is once again on nightshift (the next three nights). I wish he was home. I can cope with anything if he is here.

Food: I have been very good today (even if I say so myself). I had a small bowl of cereal for breakfast, a salad sandwich on rye bread and some fresh fruit salad for lunch, and dinner was a small serving of Roast Pork (from last night's roast dinner), and some lovely steamed veggies.

If I get hungry later, I will have an apple or some strawberries. Yumm.

Plus I have only had one coffee all day, and lots and lots of water.

I can do this. I know I can.


At 9:47 pm, Blogger Patty said...

Yes you can do it. You can do anything if you put your mind to it. I am also trying to lose some weight. I have to watch my sugar intake and that is my down fault. I love sweets, I would give up a healthy meal for a candy bar or hot fudge sundae. But now I have to watch my sugar intake if I don't want to take medication for it. So every morning I stick my finger to get a reading.

Years ago when I was with a group called TOPS, Take Off Pounds Sensibly, we had a motto we had to recite before each meeting.

I am an intellegient person, I will control my emotions and not let my emotions control me, everytime I am tempted to use food to satsify my frustrated desires, build up my injured ego, or dull my senses, I will remember, even though I over eat in private, my excess poundage is there for all the world to see what a fool I've been.

I repeat this a lot in the evenings, that seems to be my wrose time. But I also found if I keep a glass of cold water next to me, and take a sip or two, and tell myself, just hang on for another 15 mins. The urge to eat goes away, most of the time. I also found if I can keep from taking that first snack in the evening, I seem to do better. If I take that first snack it seems like all I want to do is eat something the rest of the evening until I finally go to bed feeling like I am in a stupor.


At 10:37 pm, Blogger Mama Mouse said...

Oh Bugs ... HUGS ... and lots of them. It sounds like hormone hell! You get a big pat on the back for doing so well on your exam! That must have been really, REALLY hard ... feeling so poorly and all.

Of COURSE you can do it! You have the strongest motivation in the world!!

You WILL do it! YOU WILL DO IT! You will DO it!

At 10:56 pm, Blogger Cathy said...

You can do it. Of course you can.

Our Bugs is not a defeatist. She is woman and let her roar.

Big hugs from everyone here and hopefully this cycle will be "the one".



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