Monday, October 17, 2005

CD1 again - will this ever end?

I feel like I am stuck in a Hamster wheel. So here we are back at CD1 again. AF snuck in during the night, without so much as a shy apology at her return.

Yesterday was a tough day and I am aching all over today. I spent most of the day with a pick breaking up a small mountain of dirt, so it can be moved, and the area flattened for the garage to go up hopefully at the end of this week. I hummed chain gang songs and hubbs and I looked back on our day's work, arms around each other and declared that we were finally getting there.

So I treated myself today to a day working from home (luckily I can do this occassionally). I have also come out in a lovely red itchy rash due to my contact with grass that I am quite allergic to. Very hot and itchy - and of course, extremely attractive!

Today at 4:45pm I go back to see Prof. Hope. I am well kitted up - armed with blood test results, and a folder full of 3.5 years of charting. It comes down to this today. We know the clomid works - I O at the right time and by my Oestrogen and Progesterone, I O reasonably well. Oing is not the problem. The problem is now babydancing on demand.

I refuse to ruin my marriage by the stress that this has introduced into our lives. We just can't do it. So I want help in that area. Probably IUI but will go with whatever the expert thinks we should do. All I know is that I cannot continue on the way we have been going. It will kill my marriage as well as our sanity.

If he can't offer anything else, then I will have no choice but to have a break from ttcing for a while.

So - let's see what he can offer. I will be back later to tell you.

Reason Number 2 to be happy:

"Rainbows can be found in the strangest of places. Even spilled petrol makes a beautiful swirl of color in the puddles left behind."


At 11:29 am, Blogger leonie said...

Good luck today, I'm thinking of you and hope all goes well.
Love Leoine

At 4:09 pm, Blogger Lesley said...

Sorry about af... That really sux, I hope that something good comes out of this day. Take care and stay safe.
Hugs & more hugs.

At 7:47 pm, Blogger muser said...

Bugsy - I hope you got some good news today. Seems we are on a similar cycle. CD1 today for me too.
Let us know how it went with the Professor.


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