Sunday, July 30, 2006

Keeping busy

I just wanted you all to know that I am okay.

The bleeding slowed yesterday to almost a stop and with it the pain went too. Hormones are going crazy and have expressed themselves with headaches as well as the tears which continue to fall. I have cried so much my glands under my ears have swollen up and are really hurting me.

I decided yesterday the only way to slow the tears was to keep myself busy. After hubbs helped me shower, I set to keeping so busy that I didn't think about losing this baby so much.

I cleaned the kitchen thoroughly, tidied up the lounge, cooked, did more cleaning, did the washing, played with the dogs and when hubbs finally convinced me to stop and rest (he followed me all day trying to get me to slow down), we watched movies, while I knitted Hubb's jumper and did puzzle books. I cannot tell you what movies we watched. I have no recollection of them.

Mum in law also visited which was nice. She soon stopped talking about the baby and what a shame it was to lose it, when she saw my silent tears that were running down my face. She didn't stay long.

My brother also turned up. The first time in 4 years he has visited. He said he didn't know what to say, so he just came over. It was very sweet of him and he gave me a couple of hugs which was nice. Haven't had a hug from him in many years.

Hubbs told me to dress nicely today as he is going to take me out somewhere - probably a ploy to take my mind off things and stop me from running around this house all day, but it is very sweet of him anyway. I just hope it isn't like last time we miscarried when he took me out and I cried and women were giving him real greasers because they all thought he had done something to upset me. Poor Hubbs.

I hope you are all doing well. I have tried to follow up on some blogs. Hopefully I will get to them all soon. Take care all.

11 Comments:

At 9:57 am, Anonymous pgrad said...

Hi Bugsy~

I'm just a fellow IF sister who wanted to lend you some healthy, and peaceful vibes as you recover from another devastating loss. As others stated, there are no words I can offer to unburden your heart, but I can tell you I am thinking of you, and hoping someday soon it will be your turn for a happy ending.

Peace and a cyber hug from a fellow IF'er.

PGRAD(Karen)

 
At 10:23 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bugsby-

I read about you on Cam's board, and as a sister in loss after loss after loss - I am with you. There is nothing that can be said or done. I know that hopeless feeling - the feeling that you never want to wake up again. What you said to the nurse rang so true in my heart - I too have said those words.

I don't know you - but as an IF sister and a sister in loss, I know that you are one hell of a strong woman. It will not break you. You've been through too much. I pray it brings you peace and healing, your heart will be at peace again.

Joyce

 
At 8:31 pm, Anonymous Sandy said...

Hey sweety, so sorry to have read about your loss just now, sorry didn't contact you sooner, (I have been away)

Be gentle with yourself... I am here for you anytime okay? Big big hugs coming your way. SandyR

 
At 8:59 pm, Blogger Em said...

Bugsy I have been away so I am sorry I haven't commented sooner. I just wanted to scream and throw my laptop when I read that the baby's heart had stopped beating. So it's cyber hugs for now but when I get to Melbourne and when you are ready I am going to meet up and give you the hugest hug.

 
At 11:45 pm, Blogger Katt said...

be gentle on yourself hun. You dont want to be overdoing it. I know you want to keep your mind busy but you dont want to run yourself into the ground in doing so.
You may not care at the moment but think how lost Hubs would be if something happened to you?

Katt

 
At 3:19 am, Blogger Sandy said...

Oh Bugsy ... I'm just getting here now and reading about this incredible loss with tears in my eyes, and such a heavy heart. I have no words that will help, so I just offer my thoughts of peace and healing. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

 
At 7:21 am, Blogger Thalia said...

Ugh bugsy I am so, so sorry. I thought it was all ok. That damn doppler. It's just horrible, and, as always, so unfair. I am very sorry.

 
At 8:28 am, Blogger Cathy said...

The tears are still falling.

It is good to keep busy but not too much as you need time for your body to heal itself.

Hubs needs you as you need him.

Love and ((((hugs)))).

Cathy

 
At 10:35 am, Anonymous Sassy said...

Bugsy, I'm thinking of you and Chris. Take care and do whatever you need to do to get through this. Let us know if we can do anything.

 
At 3:01 pm, Blogger The Momma / MrsHUGS said...

Hi Bugsy...
Just letting oyu know that I am about the www again...
MrsHUGS

 
At 3:57 pm, Blogger Anne Basso said...

Oh, Bugsy! I hadn't checked in for a while, so utterly confident in your health and safety. Oh, my dear, I'm sitting here just sobbing for your loss. If I had the words of comfort, I would give them to you. If I could make promises for tomorrow, I would do that too. All I can offer in their absence is my prayers for you and your husband, and your newest angel. I wish I could do more!

 

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