Saturday, September 23, 2006

My shoulders are only so wide

I have pretty well had it with having to cope with my sister's problems. I think I have enough on my shoulders to cope with and whilst I am trying very hard to be supportive there is only so much I can take.

Today I cracked it and told them exactly what I thought.

It happened like this:

You all know she sold her house recently. Well the lady who bought it couldn't get her finance together and the sale fell through. So it is back on the market. They are stressed out and just over it all. They come round today and my sister starts sobbing, because the house across the road from them went on the market this week and was sold 2 days later.

Her fiance starts going on about how stressful it is coping with the open for inspections, not knowing when the place will sell, etc. He says "I feel so bad right now I want to take my bike up to the mountains and miss the first turnoff and go over the cliff". At this point I finally broke.

I said "Don't you dare say that. I have been to hell - I know what it is like there, and what you are going through, although stressful is nowhere near that. So don't go saying that sort of shit because it does not help anyone".

He took it well, sat back and thought about it and nothing more was said. I went and made a cuppa and settled down, we all made small talk and they left about an hour later.

I don't see why they run to me all the time, with their negativity, their crying and emotional outbursts. What the hell do they want me to do about it? I have made as many suggestions as I possibly can. I don't know what else to do. All our lives I have looked after my sister - even though she is 8 years older than me. I even confronted her employer one time when he fired her. How many others would have stormed into his office the way I did and demanded an explaination?

They are never interested in our problems - never care what we are going through. Supposedly we should just be over losing Jayden. Supposedly selling their house is far more stressful than having your dead baby ripped from your body.

I know they are going through a hard time. i know not knowing whether the house will sell or whether they might end up losing this other place they want is stressful - of course it is. But coming around to me, crying, talking about killing themselves - how is that going to help? What the f#ck do they expect me to do about it?

I just don't know. They come round, I feed them meals, I look after them, I give them as much advice as I can - they leave and their negativity is a cloud in the air that stains. I feel crap, sad, angry and frustrated and there is nothing I can do about it. I just want to scream!

During the week Hubbs went round there after working a 12 hour shift and helped them move 2 trailer loads of stuff back into storage so they could clean the house up back for open for inspections. We have lent them nice coordinating linens (which they forgot they had borrowed until I said "my doona looks nice there".). We do enough.

I now have stomach cramps as well - I don't know if that means my period might finally be on it's way, or the stress is just tying me up inside.

I find it hard enough to cope with my own problems. I seriously do not need anyone elses.


At 9:52 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Bugsy
It just isn't right, I am sorry you are going through all this.

Sending you a big hug.

At 2:20 am, Blogger Kris said...

You are so right- you don't need to deal with their stresses. They are grown ups. And frankly, suggesting you might kill yourself because the sale of a house feel through sounds overly melodramatic. Good for you for speaking your mind.

Many hugs.

At 1:56 am, Blogger Summer said...

I'm glad you said something. I just hope it sinks in for them.

At 2:43 pm, Blogger Katt said...

I am glad you said something. I do hope they listen and dont lay all their troubles on you anymore. You have bigger things to deal with.



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