Friday, March 02, 2007

14 weeks

Thanks Leoni - Yes 14 weeks today.

I am in that inbetween stage that I have read about. The nausea is gone and I feel pretty good. I start to lay there at night wondering if my baby is still alive. I mean I saw him/her 2 weeks ago and they were alive then, and I have noticed a change in my tummy. When i lay down I can feel a bump - it is a little harder, almost springy. My boobs are still ultra sensitive. I am still constipated (blehhhh), and still very tired. How I wish I lived the innocent life where I had no experience of miscarriage and could just ignorantly enjoy the experience of being pregnant.

Still - every day I hope and pray bubs is okay. Every night I go to sleep with the chant "please let me have this baby, please let me have this one".

We see the OB again on Monday and I am hoping she will give me some reassurance that all is okay.

I went to see a private diabetic consultant last night who told me that this may not be purely "gestational" diabetes since it presented so early (which I kinda suspected) and that there is a chance I will still have diabetes after this baby is born. I guess we will come to that barrier when we do. In the meantime I am eating very well and have lost 4kgs since getting pregnant. (not that I am trying to lose weight - I am not - it just happened). I am monitoring my blood sugar 3-4 times a day (ok sometimes more cause I am crazy), and injecting insulin myself as well. All I can do is this. The rest is up to the fate. If I do end up with diabetes after this baby is born then I will deal with that then, and manage it as best I can.

The idea that we are never really out of the woods was brought home again last night when the diabetic consultant said "I wouldn't advise telling anyone yet until you are over 20 weeks - so much can happen still". It really jolted me. I mean, I wasn't going around feeling like having an actual baby was guaranteed but I was definately feeling more relaxed since the 12 week scan.

We have told people. Not a lot - but people! Hubbs told his best mate the other day, the father of three surprise boys who's fiance says she only has to look at him and she is pregnant - one of those super fertile people. His mate's reply was "about time, what took so long?" Ummm I could answer that but you probably don't want to know.

Did you see the news report last night on skim milk products? There is evidence that drinking just 2 glasss of low fat milk a day can decrease your fertility by up to 85% What the? How many overweight infertiles were told by specialists to drink low fat milk? LOTS - me included.

We are thinking about going out tonight and buying a baby cradle we saw on special. I am a bit worried about buying a baby thing, but it is a $200 saving and it is a lovely cradle. I keep telling myself that we can always sell it later on, you know, if the bad stuff happens.

Being positive is hard - Can you tell?

I know I will come a big cropper if something does happen though. I have started being so comfortable with the thought of being pregnant and I already love this little baby no matter how much I try not to get close. It just happened.

Have a good day all.

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At 11:55 am, Anonymous Leoni said...

Hi Bugs,

Sorry, could not wait to congrat you on 14 weeks hence posting in the old topic lol
Well bully for the diabetic consult telling you to hold off telling people till AFTER 20 weeks. Was he drunk or just plain STUPID! Yes, lots can happen before 20 weeks, even full term but heck he should have mentioned the statistics of that happening is REALLY low. You have officially just gone PAST the biggest hurdle, you've made it into the 2nd trimester and OMG we need to celebrate that with a huge toast! The chance of something going wrong now is less than 1%, I'll repeat that its LESS THAN 1% :-) Yes you are obviously going to still be nervous and you will feel better after your 18 weeks scan, but heck why do some people feel the need to heap negative sh*t onto your head when they know your history. THAT is what p*sses me right off :-( (Where is my angry smilie when I need him......)

For WIW I think its fan-bloody-tastic you're 14 weeks, and I for one am 100% convinced this will be IT for you and hubby.

So on that note, I won't wish you luck coz you don't need luck, but I will wish you calm/peaceful/quiet thoughts and feelings and that you won't come across anymore negative twits for the remainder of your PG. Go out and buy that cradle Bugs, and do it will 100% confidence.


PS: Yay Blog is working again, I've been trying to post this for 20 min grrrrrr

At 5:03 pm, Blogger Mother Hoodwink said...

I totally get the feeling of uncertainty. After you have lost a pregnancy, you can't help but be negative sometimes. What got me through most of my pregnancy was a heart doppler. We rented one from Belly Beats. I'm not sure if they rent out to Australia, but I'm sure someone does. We listened to the baby's heartbeat every night until he was so big that I could feel every movement. It kept me from being completely neurotic.

I too won't wish you good luck because you don't need it. I will wish you a nice happy and relaxing pregnancy.

At 5:31 pm, Blogger Katt said...

Congratd my darlink!!!! Well done..Not tooooooooo far to go!

Will your Dr be able to use her little ultrasound machine for you to show you little wiggles the buggy butt at your next visit?

I agree..there will always be some people that will try to make every part of this pregnancy something scary for you.


At 10:02 pm, Blogger Drew said...

Hey Bugsy

Yeah I know what you mean about finding it difficult to feel positive. On one hand you are over the moon with the news, on the other hand you worry about the bad stuff happening. It's really unfortunate that us infertiles have this terrible baggage to carry through, often till the end of the pregnancy. With me even on the eve of my 36week milestone I still freak out and think about the bad stuff. It's just not fair.

I am totally over the moon for you because you are nearly at second trimester. I hope everything continues to go well for you and Hubbs, and this baby continue to grow beautifully inside Mommy Bugs.

Take care, show us pics of the cradle once you got it! :)

At 11:15 am, Blogger Derby said...

bugsy, I am a friend of your kittie Oscar. Mum saw a book advertised that was just published.

Waiting for Daisy by Peggy Orenstein.

The book is about her 6 year quest to have a child with multiple miscarriages and IVF.

So it isn't just you. Cheering for you.

At 12:57 pm, Blogger three minute palaver said...

Hate to be a downer, but I would hold out on buying a cot at 14 weeks. It's something I personally wouldn't do until about 32+ weeks. But life after stillbirth does that to me I guess. I also see the first 20 weeks as hugely risky and certainly not out of the woods yet. I think it's fabulous you're 14 weeks and I think your baby will be a take-home baby, but in light of being self protective, can I say, don't focus on the financial saving on that discount cot, hold off organising a nursery until you feel very safe about bringing your baby bugsy home (for me that's 3rd trimester). In my mind, self protection is worth more than saving some bucks here and there.

At 11:40 pm, Blogger Mony said...

Good Bugsy.
I've been away and am just checking in for some good delivered.
As you were, ma'am.

At 1:49 pm, Blogger Lesley said...

No matter how many weeks you are, you know and we all know it's your baby and you can tell anyone you like. That person was probably not aware of all you have been through and if they were they were just as ignorant as before they new about your past. They suck and should shut their mouth. I could not be more excited for you and I know it's going to be different this time hon..
Thinking of you and wishing you only good things to come.
Luv Lesley


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