Thursday, July 19, 2007

New world order

I finish work tomorrow - for a whole year. It is kinda freaky. I am having detachment issues. I have been there nearly 7 years and quite frankly, I am struggling to emotionally let go. People keep saying "I guess you don't really care anymore" but the truth is I do care - too much. I haven't slacked off - I have done lots of work, but I have less to do because I have given most of it to my replacement. There is only so much internet searches you can do, and I feel funny doing that at work anyhow, so end up trying to find more work to do.

Finishing work to have a baby? Me? Are you serious? And Sunday I am booked in to have the baby seat professionally fitted to the car - Haha! That is hilarious - why would we need to do that? This early? I mean we have like 6 weeks until we are due. I know this is the only appointment in the next 4 weeks i can get the car seat fitted but surely I am being a little presumptuous - me? having a baby? a real baby? Get real!

The baby room is still being emptied but we hope to be able to start actually putting baby stuff in there soon. We completed our baby classes, and yesterday I did a breastfeeding class. i cried at the video of a new mother learning to breastfeed, (and then noticed I was the only one in the room crying). They gave us all baby dolls to hold while doing the class as they said they found that women enjoyed the feeling of holding the baby while doing the class. I also noticed I was the only one in the room actually cradling my baby. Everyone else was just resting it on their laps or sitting it on the floor next to them.

I am still struggling to believe that this is actually happening. Sometime in say the next 8 weeks I am going to be a mum. Me! A Mummy! A baby is actually going to rely on me - it is going to know my smell, my voice, my presence and I am going to be the most important person in his/her life. Wow - scary stuff,

Wriggles is still wriggling - more these days than kicking and boy can they wriggle. I absolutely love the feeling still. I don't care that i waddle. I don't care that my clothing doesn't really fit. I don't care that I have trouble sitting due to the bundle of wriggling joy that seems to be constantly headbutting my cervix.

People are asking me - are you sick of it yet? The answer is a definate NO. I don't think they really believe me when I say that I would happily stay this pregnant for another year or so. I am going to miss this baby so much when they are out of my belly and in my arms. I so want them in my arms but having them constantly a part of me is something I will definately miss.

Wriggles - Mummy loves you pumpkin - and I am not sick of you wriggling inside me. I love you so much and so does your Daddy who tenderly touches you through my belly every night - who says "hey Wriggles - what you doing in there?" - who says "be good to mummy and go to sleep" during the night when you are active and who every day on msn says "love you two".

Not long now - and we will meet and then the fun will really begin.

Labels: , ,

8 Comments:

At 7:31 am, Anonymous Jac said...

Oh hun,

Enjoy your maternity leave, I still miss the people I worked with and pop in to say hi every now and then. I left work almost years ago in two weeks and although Iwould love to go back for me, I know my job as a mum is far more important and rewarding.

I think it is amazing that you will be holding your little bundle very soon. And what's more amazing is to hear the joy in your words, it just brings a smile to my face reading them because I felt the exact same thing with K and I love being pg too. Also you have been through so much and been so down for so long that this is what life should feel like. Those movememts that only you can really feel brings such love to your heart and they always seem to come at the right time and always bring a quick little smirk. Remember the pact we made a few years ago??? We would be pg together and we are who would have thought it hey!!!!!!

Take care hun
love Jac & Baby K (+ Squishy)

 
At 10:32 am, Blogger Steff said...

It is such a wonderful feeling being pregnant - enjoy it but know soon you will have those lovely baby les that re kicking you to stroke and those gorgeous baby eyes to look into yours - and nothing can be better than that

 
At 5:08 pm, Blogger The Momma / MrsHUGS said...

aaawww Bugsy...
I am so excited...
Woo Hoo a baby... Woo Hoo a baby...
Even to this day when our little fella lies on my tummy, I wonder how he ever fitted inside which was 20 months ago...
Will be in Melbourne 10th July - 13th July...
See you at the Glen on the Saturday...
Email will be sent out tomorrow, I have been a bit slack...
Take care...
Linda

 
At 8:31 pm, Blogger Drew said...

Yeehah Bugsy! It's maternity leave for you!

One thing I really miss is Poopee wriggling inside of me - it really is a beautiful feeling I will never forget. My girl socked me in the eye today (whilst practising her `swipe' motions). But it still did not hurt as much as the kicks she gave me in-utero.

I am counting down the days with you Bugsy for photos of you with babe in arms.

And dont worry, I was teary too whilst watching breastfeeding/birth videos. :) Even daggier still, I get teary watching those bloody Tena Ladies sanitary napkins ads.

 
At 11:14 am, Blogger Lesley said...

Yep, your going to be a mummy and every second will be a joy for you, just as it was for me and it only gets better. You will be amazed at the overwhelming love you will have for your baby when you ask as they lift bubby out of you..Is my baby alright? It sound corney but I actually said those words. The love for your baby is unmeasurable and very intense, so different from the love you have for your hubby. I'm excited for you and I know it's all going to go really well for you. I love reading about how it's going for you and how happy you are. This is finally really going to happen! Have a great week...
Love and lots of warm hugs, Lesley

 
At 11:56 am, Blogger Ova Girl said...

Wow bugsy, so soon. It's fabulous. happy Maternity leave and enjoy those wriggles...

 
At 10:18 am, Blogger Lainey-Paney said...

I could understand missing your job...being off for a year.

I was off on bed rest & then maternity leave for a total of 15 weeks...and I missed my job & coworkers. So, I can identify with that!


And how very exciting that your baby will be here soon!

:) good luck...with all of it---the nursery, the delivery, the breastfeeding. It's just the most amazing adventure you are on...

:)

 
At 12:41 pm, Blogger Katt said...

Not long now til we all get to meet the lovely long awaited Buggy Butt..We are all looking forward to it.

I know you will miss all that you have now. But think of all the things you get to look forward to? The smiles, the gurgle, learning to wave, walk, talk....All the good stuff...

Katt

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

 

eXTReMe Tracker