New world order

I finish work tomorrow - for a whole year. It is kinda freaky. I am having detachment issues. I have been there nearly 7 years and quite frankly, I am struggling to emotionally let go. People keep saying "I guess you don't really care anymore" but the truth is I do care - too much. I haven't slacked off - I have done lots of work, but I have less to do because I have given most of it to my replacement. There is only so much internet searches you can do, and I feel funny doing that at work anyhow, so end up trying to find more work to do.

Finishing work to have a baby? Me? Are you serious? And Sunday I am booked in to have the baby seat professionally fitted to the car - Haha! That is hilarious - why would we need to do that? This early? I mean we have like 6 weeks until we are due. I know this is the only appointment in the next 4 weeks i can get the car seat fitted but surely I am being a little presumptuous - me? having a baby? a real baby? Get real!

The baby room is still being emptied but we hope to be able to start actually putting baby stuff in there soon. We completed our baby classes, and yesterday I did a breastfeeding class. i cried at the video of a new mother learning to breastfeed, (and then noticed I was the only one in the room crying). They gave us all baby dolls to hold while doing the class as they said they found that women enjoyed the feeling of holding the baby while doing the class. I also noticed I was the only one in the room actually cradling my baby. Everyone else was just resting it on their laps or sitting it on the floor next to them.

I am still struggling to believe that this is actually happening. Sometime in say the next 8 weeks I am going to be a mum. Me! A Mummy! A baby is actually going to rely on me - it is going to know my smell, my voice, my presence and I am going to be the most important person in his/her life. Wow - scary stuff,

Wriggles is still wriggling - more these days than kicking and boy can they wriggle. I absolutely love the feeling still. I don't care that i waddle. I don't care that my clothing doesn't really fit. I don't care that I have trouble sitting due to the bundle of wriggling joy that seems to be constantly headbutting my cervix.

People are asking me - are you sick of it yet? The answer is a definate NO. I don't think they really believe me when I say that I would happily stay this pregnant for another year or so. I am going to miss this baby so much when they are out of my belly and in my arms. I so want them in my arms but having them constantly a part of me is something I will definately miss.

Wriggles - Mummy loves you pumpkin - and I am not sick of you wriggling inside me. I love you so much and so does your Daddy who tenderly touches you through my belly every night - who says "hey Wriggles - what you doing in there?" - who says "be good to mummy and go to sleep" during the night when you are active and who every day on msn says "love you two".

Not long now - and we will meet and then the fun will really begin.