Tears before bedtime

I cried myself to sleep last night. That was, after seeing this on the news.

Ironic isn't it when my first appointment with the IVF specialist is on 2nd May.

My arm\wrist\hand combination is a little better today. I did go to the doctors. He said it was a sprain and to use an anti-inflammatory gel for a few days.

In other news, I had yet another friend contact me, (nicely and gently) to tell me that she is also pregnant after her first IUI. I am so happy for them. Of course, this happiness is also tinged with sadness at my own inability to do the very same thing.

Darls - I know you read this sometimes, and I want you to know that I am extremely happy for you - above all else that will remain prominant, no matter what.

My sadness is twofold - of course the obvious part of this is that I am still not pregnant. The bit you don't know is that some time ago a group of us infertiles got together a little support email group. It was the bestest little group I ever come across. Then first one got pregnant, then another, then another and now we have come to the witching hour.

Everyone in the group is pregnant - everyone that is, except me.

Suddenly I don't feel that I fit in anymore.

Suddenly I feel like everyone in this universe is pregnant, everyone except me.

Then they tell me that I cannot do more than 3 IVF cycles without mortgaging my house.

I so feel like this is never going to happen for us. Hubs and I may have to consider the possibility that we are going to remain childless.

I think I am going to have to get used to the idea of crying myself to sleep more often.