Monday, April 02, 2007

Disappointment Reigns

I hope I don't sound like a nagging nelly but it has been a very crappy day.

No sign of Molly anywhere. I spent the weekend touring the shelters, crying so much there that all I could do was show them my missing poster and feebly ask them if they have seen her. They were all lovely. They showed me through all areas of the shelters - the non public bits too where new kitties come to spend their first 8 days in quarantine, waiting for their owners to find them, and then to be assessed for a new home or to be put down. She wasn't there.

Today we had our OB appointment. It was at 11am but we got a phone call asking if we could change it to 4:30, which we did. We sat there for 2 hours until we got told she had been called away to deliver a baby and we would have to reschedule. The only appointment we could get was 10 days later - next Thursday the 12th. I was so disappointed I cried all the way home. I just wanted to see wriggles again and know all was okay.

Mum in law has asked if she can come to the next scan - which happens to be on Friday the 13th. I was going to use today's quick scan to guage whether I felt confident enough to let her come. I am so scared of being told really bad news there and if that is the case, I only want Hubbs there with me, nobody else. So now I will have to wait until the day before for that.

So we went to the supermarket and after parking the car, I got abused by some bloke going the wrong way down the car park isle, when I ummm... got in the way of his car. Yes he nearly ran me over, then abused the crap out of me. I got angry and said words like "you moron, not only did you nearly run over a pregnant woman, you did it going the wrong way down the aisle, did you not ever know how to read arrows , and did you fail to see the "do not enter" at the end?" of course my real version had a lot of words that I am not very proud of. Very colorful words. If he hadn't driven off, Hubbs would have really laid into him but by the time he came around from his side of the car he had gone. I saw 2 other cars coming in the wrong way down the same aisle before we left.

Then in the supermarket we went through the pet aisle and I asked Hubbs if we needed kitty litter and he said (without thinking) "no - we don't seem to be going through as much these days" and I burst into tears and he had to hug me until i stopped.

We are home now and rice is cooking for fried rice. I just want to go to bed and cry myself to sleep. I want Molly back and I really wanted to see wriggles was okay. I really want to stop crying too. I am so sick of being so damn emotional.

sorry for whinging. I feel blessed every day that I have wriggles, and feel guilty that I have sadness in my life too when the one thing I always wanted is growing inside me as we speak.

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At 9:29 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You poor gal! I hope you find Molly safe and well real soon. Am glad DH is giving you lots of hugs.

At 9:50 pm, Blogger Thalia said...

s0rry to hear about all the worry and stress of molly missing and the missed appointment.

Honestly, can't you call your local hospital and demand a scan? Give them some story like cramping etc? It's better than you being tense for 2 weeks, surely?

At 6:49 am, Blogger Mother Hoodwink said...

You have no reason to feel guilty. You miss your kitty, it's ok to be sad about it. I'm sorry you didn't get your scan. I've been there and it sucks. But at least when you go in for it now, your little one will be bigger and easier to see. I'm so happy for you, Bugsy.


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